That Night in Twelve
by musician95
Summary: It all started that night in Twelve, the night Madge lost everything. Alone and miserable in District 13, there is only one person that can make her feel better: Gale Hawthorne. But by the time Madge realizes how she truly feels about him, it might already be too late...
1. Chapter 1

_Since I was a kid, I used to leave my window open while I slept. It was my connection to the outer world, and I would feel isolated whenever it wasn't open. Sounds crazy, I know. Sometimes during the winter, my mom would force me to close it because she was afraid I might catch a cold. "There's nothing to miss out on, honey", she used to say. "Everyone's sleeping."_

_But that particular night, my open window was the only thing that made me realize there was something unusual going on. I could tell by the dry ache of smoke in my throat when I tried to take a breath and by the weird flicker that lit up the darkness outside. _

_Then I sat up in bed and saw the flames. They were eating up the houses on the other side of the road, leaving nothing but ruins. _

_I jumped to my feet and hurried over to the window. Some people were gathered in the street, but not enough to know that everyone in those burning houses had made it to safety. I saw one of the inhabitants holding his little daughter's hand while she was clutching a teddy bear to her chest. Where was her mother? _

_I scanned the little crowd for other familiar faces, but the people stood with their backs to me and the light of fire distorted everything in a cruel way. _

_Maybe it was the sight of the man and his daughter, I don't know. But I suddenly found myself darting out of the room, down the stairs and onto the front porch where I was greeted by a wave of cold and smoke._

_For a moment, all I could do was stand there and stare at those houses. I just couldn't imagine that the people who'd lived there were all gone. I'd been living across the street from those people my entire life, and now… It was just too much to handle._

_"Madge!"_

_I was so perplexed that I hadn't even seen him coming. But there he was, right in front of me. Gale Hawthorne with his dark hair and dark eyes and sweaty face, and he just gripped my arm and pulled me away before I could do anything about it._

_"Wait, what are you… - Gale, what's going on? Let go!"_

_He didn't let go, of course. He still held on to my arm when he stopped in the middle of the street to yell at the people standing there._

_"You gotta get away from here, now! Don't you get it? The Capitol will keep throwing bombs until there's nothing left!"_

_I was completely paralyzed. My legs threatened to buckle and I leaned into Gale's side with all my weight._

_"Then tell us were to go, smartass!" someone shot back at Gale. "We can't just leave the district, can we?"_

_Gale ignored his sarcasm and replied: "We're going to Thirteen." Then he turned to me and said, more quietly: "You have to trust me, Madge, okay?"_

_I just looked at him. "Bombs?" I mouthed. "Thirteen? What…"_

_Right then, we heard a loud bang and I felt Gale's arm pressing me against his chest. When it was over, the realization struck me hard. My parents. They were still inside, and I couldn't possibly leave without them._

_"Come on, Madge!"_

_Gale was pulling at my arm, but I didn't move. "Mom, Dad!" I cried, even though some part of my brain must've realized what had happened just now. _

_When I turned my head toward the house, _my _house, I saw flames. And I didn't care, I just wanted to run inside and get my parents, but Gale's grip was like steel._

_"Madge, you can't go in there!"_

_"My parents…"_

_He yanked me around so I was facing him again. "Madge." Then he shook his head, and I knew what it meant. I knew what he wanted to say._

They're gone. It's over.

_"We gotta get away from here. Fast", Gale whispered. _

_People were running past us, away from the burning houses that threatened to collapse onto the streets. I didn't wanna go. I wanted to stay here with my parents, even if that meant being burnt to death. They'd been here when I'd fallen asleep and now they were gone and our house was gone and everything I'd known in my entire life was gone._

_"Madge, go!" Gale practically screamed at my face, and I wanted to tell him to leave me here, but he wasn't even waiting for an answer. He just threw me over his shoulder and ran._

_Away from the flames, the ruins, the misery that had once been my home. Away from everything._


	2. Chapter 2

Day after day passed by like any other in District 13. After a week, I didn't even feel anything anymore. I'd been crying myself to sleep for days, until the old woman I shared a bunk bed with threatened to strangle me with her bare hands. She sounded dead serious as she said it, and for all I knew, she probably was.

The woman used to live in the Seam back in Twelve. Gale Hawthorne had tagged her along, just like me. And now we shared a complex with six more people, the poor miner's widow and the Mayor's daughter.

Well, technically I wasn't anybody's daughter anymore. I was a nobody ever since the bombs fell; a stranger to the world and everything in this district.

I actually thought it was best not to feel anything anymore, but it was only a matter of time until my emotions would come back to me. Sure enough, after a couple weeks of walking around like a zombie, I had my first public breakdown.

It was at lunch, and I was sitting at the table right across from the Hawthorne's. I hated having Gale around, but there were only so many empty seats at lunchtime. With all the refugees from Twelve, public spaces were always packed around here.

Just to be clear, I have never hated Gale. Hate is a very strong emotion, and I don't think I've felt it for anyone in my life until the moment President Snow's bombs killed my parents. What I felt for Gale was very different. I guess I just didn't like the way he made me feel about myself.

Back in Twelve, he would give me a hard time for being the Mayor's daughter, like I had all the money and privileges in the world, when really, I had nothing. He made me feel ashamed for my family, for being who I was. But now, after everything that had happened, suddenly I was the one getting those looks of sympathy that I used to give people from the Seam.

Suddenly Gale Hawthorne was the superior one, the one with a family and even a job here in Thirteen. And I just couldn't stand the way he looked at me ever since we arrived here. Clearly, he was pitying me. Maybe he even thought I finally got what I deserved.

Anyway, having him around was making me feel self-conscious. And having his whole family around was just… it was almost unbearable. Well, I knew that his father died in a mining accident years ago. But when I saw his mom and all of his siblings around that table right across from me, they still seemed somehow complete. They still had each other.

I, on the other hand, had no one. That's how it started, my breakdown. I caught Gale looking at me from across the table, shooting me one of his damn pity smiles, and when I quickly focused on my lunch again, I realized that red beans had been Dad's favorite. And suddenly, I couldn't think about anything other than those red beans.

Mom used to make them every time Dad came home from staying in the Capitol for conferences or whatever, and Dad would tell her how much he hated the Capitol food and how he would never trade his home for the Capitol, not for anything in the world.

I knew that he'd been a good person, my father. He didn't want kids to participate in the Hunger Games. He didn't want people in the Seam to live a miserable life. And he wasn't the one responsible for those things, even if some people believed so.

The tears just hit me like a wave. After so much time of feeling nothing at all, I felt the emotions washing over me all at once.

My dad was gone. My mom was gone. Even my piano, the only thing I had ever been good at, was gone. Snow had taken everything away from me – my home, my parents, my whole district – that there was really no reason for me to live anymore. My only hope at this point was Katniss.

So I let my fork sink and tried to wipe away the tears, but they kept coming, accompanied by sobs. I felt people looking at me, Gale looking at me, and I felt my whole body trembling. I just couldn't believe this was _real. _Part of me still thought I would wake up from this nightmare eventually.

Through the tears, I could see Gale rising from his seat, and that was it: I had to get away from here. Now.

I left the lunch area and sank down against the next wall. The people passing by just left me alone. Crying was a common thing in Thirteen after we arrived. Everyone had lost someone, something. We'd all lost our home.

I wasn't alone for long, though. After a minute, Gale appeared.

"You wanna talk about it?"

It was the first time he'd spoken to me ever since we came here. I had been avoiding him, of course, but he hadn't made much of an effort either. There was just no reason why we should treat each other any differently here in Thirteen. Gale had brought me here along with many others, and I'm sure we were all very grateful for that. But it didn't change the fact that we'd been at each other's throats our whole lives.

"There's nothing to talk about", I said to him. "Go."

"Madge –"

"Please, just go!" I already felt like an idiot, and having him around didn't make it any better.

"Madge, I can't leave you here like that."

"Why? Why do you even care?"

"Greasy Sae told me that you've been crying every night since we got here", Gale said. "And now you're just quiet."

"Greasy Sae, huh?" So that was the old woman's name.

"She's worried about you", Gale explained.

"She said she'd strangle me if I didn't shut up", I replied.

"Yeah, that sounds like her."

When Gale sat down next to me, I didn't protest. I could still smell the food and see the people scooping up forks full of beans through the open doors of the dining area.

And in my head, I heard the piano. I was playing for my dad while he had a late dinner, and my mom was there talking to him and smiling in my direction every now and then. I had been so happy in moments like this. It hadn't always been that way, of course, but I knew we were happy back in Twelve. As happy as one could be living in Panem.

More tears were coming. I wiped my face until my cheeks felt raw, and still the tears didn't stop.

"Oh my god", I kept saying to myself. O_h my god, this is real. Oh my god, they're really gone._

My piano, the only thing I'd ever enjoyed. And my parents, the only two people in the world I had ever loved.

"Madge." Gale had come a bit closer, closer than I was comfortable with. When I lifted my head, he was right there. Too close. I turned away from him.

"I don't know what to say", Gale continued. "But if there is anything –"

"Just go away", I tried again. I wanted him gone more than anything else, so I could finally get myself together. It was just impossible with him next to me, a constant reminder of my old life in District 12.

But sure enough, Gale made no move to leave. "I know how you feel", he said instead. "Trust me."

"You don't know a thing."

"After my Dad died, I thought I had nothing left", Gale explained. "But that wasn't true."

"There _is _nothing left!" I replied. "District 12, my parents… It's all gone! I have nothing here! I am no one without them."

A new flood of tears. I was surprised a person could even cry that much.

"It will get better, I'm sure of it", Gale said. "There will be things to look forward to. Things to enjoy."

And boom, the piano melody was back in my head. I would never stop crying if Gale didn't shut up soon.

"The only thing I've ever enjoyed is playing the piano", I whispered.

"Then we'll find you one."

He couldn't be that stupid, could he?

I shook my head. "It's not that simple, you know that."

"Well, I didn't say we'd find one _now_", Gale replied. "But I suppose there are plenty in the Capitol. And when things finally change in Panem, the first thing I'll do is go there and get you one."

It was a sweet thing to say – from an objective point of view. He was making an effort to comfort me, and I appreciated that. It just wasn't working.

Maybe because I knew he didn't mean it. Deep down, we were still the same people we used to be back in Twelve. He still despised me, I knew it, and I felt ashamed for showing so much weakness in front of him when the only reason he was nice to me was out of pity.

"I heard you play once, you know?" Gale said quietly. "At the school recital. You were really good."

Again, he'd said the wrong thing, reminding me of the only talent I ever had. It was true, I had been good. Sadly, it was the only thing I'd ever been good at.

"Anyway, there's nothing else I can do", I said. "I am completely useless here."

"Come on, Madge, I know that's not true."

When Gale suddenly touched my shoulder, I was too perplexed to back away. He was still so close, I felt self-conscious of my every move. And his broad hand on my shoulder, it made me feel uneasy. It sat there like a weight, sending a wave of tingles through my skin. I didn't like it, but at least it seemed to distract me from crying. Honestly, it made me hate Gale a little less in that moment.

"You're not just a pianist", he continued in a soft voice. "And you're not just your parents' daughter. There is so much more to you than that!"

His words – it was the first time anyone had ever told me that. Even if it was out of pity, it felt nice. I just couldn't believe him… because what more was there? I wasn't even sure I was still a person without my piano and my family.

"Madge, look at me."

Gale's hand on my shoulder was still there. I couldn't possibly look him in the eye when the mere touch of his hand almost made me panic. So I kept my head down, staring at the ground beneath my feet.

"Okay, then. I'll tell you what I think", Gale announced. "Remember when you brought me that medicine after the whipping? It means that you have great sympathy for others, and you're a pacifist. I know that if you were in charge, something like this would never have happened. There would be no injustice, no violence. You're also diplomatic. Thoughtful. Those are leading skills, Madge, you know that? And I bet you got them from your dad."

_Pity, _I told myself. _It's all out of pity. He doesn't mean a word of what he just said._

But still, I was taken aback by his knowledge of me. How could it be that Gale Hawthorne knew all those things about me, things I had never even thought of myself?

He was right: I was sympathetic, a pacifist, a diplomat. Everything he said was true, and it made me sound like a much better person.

Too bad he didn't mean it.

"Hey, you okay there?" Gale squeezed my shoulder, and I realized that I should probably reply something before I embarrassed myself even more. At least I was able to stop the crying.

"I'm good", I announced, sounding totally not believable. "That was very nice of you, but I think I'm gonna go now."

I shrugged his hand off and wiped my face one last time before getting to my feet.

Gale stood up too. "Yeah, sure. And I'd better get back in there to…" He trailed off when he realized what he was about to say.

"To your family", I finished for him. "It's okay."

And I couldn't help but catch a quick glance at his face.

For a moment, he didn't even look like Gale Hawthorne to me. There was so much emotion in his face, so many other things than the usual mix of arrogance, cynicism and despise I knew. It almost seemed like he genuinely _cared_.

All the edges were gone, softened by sympathy. His dark brown eyes looked rather warm and deep than angry.

Of course, he still seemed tired, worried, like all of us. But he hadn't lost a bit of the determination he used to have in Twelve. If anything, it had grown stronger, and it gave me hope. He had succeeded in getting us here safely, and that look on his face told me that he would soon get Katniss too.

I was overwhelmed with everything I saw. Part of me wished I would've seen that side of him earlier; it would have saved me a lot of bad vibes I used to have around him. And I couldn't help wondering what would've happened then, if maybe we would've become friends like him and Katniss.

Then it all came back to me in a blast: the prejudices he used to have about me, the way he would tell bad things about my dad in school. The condescending way he looked at me, as if I was some kind of garbage. As if not living in the Seam automatically made me a spoiled brat.

And boom, I hated him again.

"You sure you're okay?" Gale asked me, furrowing his brow.

"Fine", I replied. "I have to go."

Suddenly all I could think about was getting away from here, from him. I felt tired and sad and completely overwhelmed.

"Okay, well, see you around", Gale said, but I had already turned away from him.


	3. Chapter 3

When I came to my room, I lingered in front of the mirror. I hadn't cared about my appearance ever since I arrived here, but something about my encounter with Gale made me wonder about things.

As I looked at my reflection, I completely understood why he showed all that pity towards me. I was a mess.

My face was pale from not seeing the sun in weeks, my blue eyes just grey and lifeless. There were wrinkles on my forehead and my mouth looked like it didn't even know how to smile anymore. My hair was braided like always, even though I hated it that way. I'd been wanting to cut it ever since I looked into that mirror for the first time, but I just couldn't do it. It would be like cutting off part of the old me, the girl I used to be in District 12.

"You look fine, darling", a tired voice told me then. It was the old woman, Greasy Sae, watching me from her spot in bed as I twirled my braid between my fingers.

"I want it gone", I explained, gesturing at my hair. "You wanna help?"

"I'm not cutting a single one of those golden hairs", Greasy Sae replied. "They're too pretty."

"Please. I am nowhere near pretty."

Greasy Sae shrugged. "You just need a bit of sun and it'll be okay. It's what we all need, actually."

"Yeah, sure", I muttered. "Sun."

The only thing I really needed were my parents. And my piano, or any piano, for that matter.

Defeated, I turned away from the mirror and climbed up into my bunk bed. If I couldn't get sun, the next-best thing was probably some rest.

So I lay there for a minute, just staring at the ceiling. Then I thought of Greasy Sae in the bed below, and I said out loud: "Hey, you never told me your name."

"You never asked me", the old woman answered.

She was right. It was as simple as that. But she had more to say.

"That's what I've always hated about you Town people, you know? You never gave a shit about people from the Seam."

"That is not true", I protested immediately. "Well, not for everyone."

"So you think your father was nice to us?"

Part of me was surprised about the passive-aggressiveness in the old woman's voice. The other part understood her.

"My father let you have everything he could", I explained – and I truly believed so. "He kept the Peacekeepers away from you, and he never shut down your black market. But you know that the coal we were supposed to deliver to the Capitol had to come from somewhere. And it's not our fault the miners weren't payed enough for their work. My father was very sorry about that, but there was nothing he could've done."

"How come he had enough money to live, then?", Greasy Sae replied. "I've seen that nice mansion of yours. Heard you had a piano in there, too. A lot of expensive stuff."

"Who told you that? Katniss?"

"Her friend, the Hawthorne boy. They used to sell strawberries to you, didn't they?"

I sighed. Remembering the strawberries made me remember everything else about that time, when the only bad thing we had to worry about was the Reaping – and that was bad enough, of course. But now, with the whole district wiped away and a revolution waiting to happen, nothing seemed as stable as my strawberry deliveries back in the day.

"Yeah", I said. "And I always payed them a little extra."

"I knew you're not an unkind person."

Then why was she doing everything in her power to prove the opposite?

What I replied was: "I know you're not bad, either."

After that, Greasy Sae remained quiet, and so our discussion was closed for the time being.


	4. Chapter 4

I didn't leave my room for the entire day. Greasy Sae and I played cards and talked a little more, which actually made me feel a lot better. When we went to get dinner together, Gale was nowhere to be seen – but the day was still long.

I usually spent my late nights in District 13 wandering the area around the underground farm, where all the food was cultured. It reminded me of the gardens and fields we used to have above ground. I just missed the real world so much that I took every opportunity to get closer to it.

It was late when I came back from the farm, right before curfew. People in Thirteen were overly kind to us refugees, but they were also very strict concerning their rules. If anyone unauthorized was seen in the hallways after curfew, it meant spending a whole day under arrest, no matter the circumstances. And I got it: the system only worked because of its strictness.

However, curfew was at 11 pm and the lights were already dimming down on my way back, so I knew I only had ten minutes left. My mind felt a bit clearer from my walk and I was ready to jump right into bed the moment I closed the door behind me. It was dark in the room, meaning the others had already gone to sleep.

Then, suddenly, a knock on the door. I jumped.

"Who's there?", a tired voice asked from one of the beds.

Another knock.

"Can you get the door?" The voice belonged to another woman I vaguely remembered from Twelve. She was helping out in the hospital wing of District 13 and had to get up very early.

"Sure", I whispered back. "Sorry."

When I opened the door, I didn't know who to expect. _Could be a guard_, I thought. Sometimes they controlled the rooms after curfew to see if anyone was missing. But we still had ten minutes left, and sure enough, it wasn't a guard.

It was Gale.

"What are you doing here?", I asked in total surprise.

"I'm here for you", he said simply. "Can you come outside?"

I looked back into the room, then at his face. "I don't know."

"Just for a minute."

I felt bad disturbing the others, so I decided to do what he wanted and take this outside.

"Okay, fine", I said. After shutting the door behind me, I added: "Curfew's soon. I don't wanna get in trouble."

"It won't take long", Gale assured me.

He looked messy, as if he'd hurried a little to get here. I knew his family's complex was in another area, where more families with kids lived.

I, on the other hand, lived with five other people in a room only built for four. There was an additional mattress on the floor for two people to share (we'd drawn lots to see who'd get it). Our room was located in an area reserved specifically for refugees from Twelve who'd come here without any family. Everyone got signed up to a room and that was that.

Like I said, here in Thirteen Gale was on the privileged side.

"I just wanted to make sure you didn't misunderstand", he told me now. "What I said earlier, you know."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "What part exactly do you mean?"

"The part about you being so much more", he explained. "It must've seemed completely wrong in that situation."

His gaze seemed to drill a hole into my forehead. I couldn't stand this any longer; I had to turn away.

"It's fine", I said. "I get it."

Obviously, he thought I was a complete idiot. I'd known from the moment he'd opened his mouth that everything he said was out of pity. Never in a million years would I be stupid enough to believe he actually _meant _those things. But he thought I believed so, and now he'd come all the way to make things right and embarrass me once again.

"Really? You didn't get me wrong?", Gale asked.

When I looked up, his eyes were still there, mocking me. "How could I?"

"Then… why do you still look so angry?"

Was he really that stupid? "Maybe because I don't like the reason you said those things", I replied. "Maybe I just wanna be left alone."

"So that's why you've been avoiding me all this time, huh?" Gale took a step toward me, and I backed away until I hit the wall. _Too close, _I wanted to scream at his face, but the words got stuck in my throat.

"I told you, I need to be alone", I said instead. "Can't anyone respect that?"

"People are trying to _help _you, Madge. But you just won't let them!"

"I don't need anyone's help", I explained, feeling the anger rise inside me. When I risked another glance at Gale, I could see it in his eyes too.

He shook his head at me. "Your parents died, for God's sake!" His voice was loud, echoing throughout the empty hallway. I reminded me of the fact that we only had minutes until curfew.

Still, I was mad at him. How could he have the nerves to say that to my face? It made me so unbelievably mad, I wanted to punch him right there.

"Your parents died", Gale repeated, this time more quietly. "Can't you see that you need help, Madge?"

Why the hell did his voice sound so shaky? He did not have the right to get emotional over _my _parents. And he did not have the right to pity me again. This had to end here and now.

"I _can't _be helped, don't you get that?", I snapped at him. "I don't want your or anyone else's company! I want to be _alone_; why can't you just leave me alone?"

Oh no. I felt the tears coming again. Gale Hawthorne could not see me cry twice in one day.

"If that's what you want", I heard him say.

There was still pity in his voice, and I still wanted to punch him for it.

"It is", I confirmed. But I wanted to make it clear to him, real clear, that I did not need his pity. And so I added: "I don't want you in my life, Gale. This rivalry thing we used to have back in Twelve – it's over now. Here, I need to deal with things on my own. And I don't want you having anything to do with it."

Wrinkles appeared on his forehead that I had never seen before. I didn't know if it was anger or disbelief, but it scared me.

Right then, the bell rang. Curfew.

"You need to go", I said without looking at him. Looking at him always seemed to make things harder.

"Madge –" His voice, it made me feel things. Unexpected things. He needed to stop talking.

"Didn't you hear? It's curfew!", I repeated. "So go and leave me the hell alone!"

"These can't be your last words", Gale protested. "We have to talk about this again, okay?"

"No, we don't", I shot back. "Just leave already, will you? I am not getting in trouble because of you!"

Sure enough, a guard rounded the corner to our hallway just then. He spotted us immediately and neither Gale nor I made a move to run.

We just looked at each other, me fighting back tears and him thinking whatever mysterious thoughts were floating around inside his head. From the look on his face, I could tell there was something going on, but I was still far from figuring out the inner workings of his brain.

When the guard came to a stop in front of us, I knew we were doomed.

"Good evening, you two", he said in his deep voice. "You might wanna tell me the reason why you're still out here after curfew. I assume you know about the consequences of disregarding our rules?"

"I'm living here, Sir", I explained quickly before Gale had the opportunity to answer. "This man knocked on my door and when the bell rang, he refused to leave."

"That true, young man?" The guard looked at Gale, who looked back at me. I averted my gaze.

"I need your name, please."

When Gale didn't answer, the guard pushed him back against the wall. "I said: Name, please!"

"Okay, okay!" Gale raised both hands. "It's Gale Hawthorne."

"Hawthorne, all right. I'll have to put you under arrest until tomorrow night. Your name, young lady?"

I cleared my throat. "Madge Undersee, Sir."

"You said you're living here?"

"Right in this room."

"And why didn't you go inside when the bell rang?", the guard asked.

"I wanted to", I said, "but…" I trailed off and caught another glance in Gale's direction.

The guard followed my gaze. "What was going on here, anyway?", he wanted know.

"Nothing", I said, still looking at Gale. "We were just talking."

"What about?"

"That is none of your business!", Gale jumped in. "You don't need to tell him, Madge."

I crossed my arms above my chest. "I'm gonna tell him whatever I _want _to tell him", I snapped. To the guard I said: "Private affairs. Things from District 12 that… that lie in the past now."

The guard sighed. "Okay, then. I'm gonna have to check your statement, Miss Undersee. If it turns out you're lying, I will get you tomorrow for two days of arrest. Otherwise, you go now and get some sleep. Mr. Hawthorne, you're coming with me."

I couldn't believe what the guard had just said. I was getting away with it.

It wasn't fair. Then again, nothing in life was fair. I had been living a good life in Twelve while people in the Seam were starving or working themselves to death in the mines. Now I'd lost everything while Gale got to save his whole family. Was there anything fair about that?

Maybe that's why I remained silent, accepting the guard's decision to take Gale under arrest but not me.

As the guard pushed Gale forward, I caught his gaze one last time. There was so much trouble in his eyes that I couldn't help wondering about it. Why did he want to help me so badly? Why couldn't he accept that I needed to be left alone?

Also, I could see his reproach. He'd said I was thoughtful. Diplomatic. Seeking for justice. And now suddenly, I wasn't.

_What can I say, Gale Hawthorne? There's a reason I didn't believe you._


	5. Chapter 5

After my encounter with the guard, I barely managed to sleep at all. Of course, it wasn't exactly the guard that kept me awake. It was Gale.

Technically, I was just as guilty as him. We were both out in the hallway after curfew. I could've gone inside when the bell rang, but I didn't. I didn't, because I didn't want to leave him there. But then I'd ratted him out in front of the guard without batting an eye. What was wrong with me?

I should've gotten the same punishment, I knew it. And I felt worse with every second that I spent sitting across the Hawthorne family at lunch. They were giving me these weird looks, making me wonder if they had any idea where Gale even was.

Why should anyone care to inform Gale's family about his arrest? It was only one day. Still, his mother must be worried. Or maybe she just assumed her son was busy making battle plans.

However, Greasy Sae seemed to notice my particularly gloomy mood and took me aside after dinner. We hadn't seen the Hawthornes again, but nevertheless I had barely eaten anything. I couldn't stop thinking about the next day; if Gale would keep trying to help me or if he would finally leave me alone. I didn't even know if he was mad at me for being arrested. Maybe he should be, if that meant he'd keep his distance.

So after an awfully quiet dinner, Greasy Sae took me aside to ask what I did every night before I went back to the room. I was hesitating at first, but then I told her about the farms. She offered to accompany me and as I was not in the mood to protest, we silently fell into step next to each other.

"I know it was that Hawthorne boy, yesterday at the door", Greasy Sae said eventually.

I nodded. "Gale."

"Right, Katniss' friend. The tall one."

"He sure is tall", I muttered under my breath, wishing she would just leave it at that. But of course, she didn't.

"He's always been a good kid."

"I wouldn't exactly say kid", I replied. "I mean, he's making plans to go to war against the Capitol."

"Not war", Greasy Sae corrected me. "They want a revolution."

It's not that I didn't _want_ to believe her. I just couldn't.

When I looked around, I saw all the plants contained by the underground walls of District 13, where all these people had been living a hidden life for so many years now. Out in the real world, there were fields and forests and rivers, but the people here hadn't seen them for ages. Because of the Capitol.

Now I had joined those people after losing everything I ever had back in District 12. My home had been destroyed by the Capitol's bombs. All they had ever used against us was violence. God, they sent twenty-four innocent children into an arena every year to kill each other! And my best friend Katniss was still trapped in there, this time with professional killers.

So there was only one logical conclusion for me: "You can't take down the Capitol without violence."

Greasy Sae looked at me through her wise eyes. "But they don't have a choice, do they?" she asked quietly, and I didn't know what to say to that.

If they did nothing, things would always stay the same in Panem. They would even get worse, probably. We would be stuck in this underground bunker forever and I would never see Katniss again. My parents would've died for nothing.

Following the Mockingjay really was our only option, our only chance at a better life. Greasy Sae was right: the only way to stop the Capitol was to go through with this revolution.

"Do you know why Gale started selling strawberries to you, my dear?", Greasy Sae asked me out of the blue.

I was completely taken aback by that question, and all I could do for an answer was shrug. "For extra money, I guess."

"And do you know why he saved you from the bombs and brought you here with him?", Greasy Sae continued.

I studied her face, trying to figure out where she was going with this. "I wasn't the only one he saved that day", I said defensively. "And certainly not the only one he sold stuff to."

To my surprise, a smile appeared on Greasy Sae's face. "Well, I think he found you interesting."

"That's ridiculous", I told her.

But in my head, I couldn't help thinking about it. The idea of it. It sounded absurd, Gale being interested in _me_ while he'd had all the girls following him around in school. And Katniss. He'd always liked Katniss. Why on earth would he be interested in me?

"I also think he cares about you", Greasy Sae went on, as if it made perfect sense.

Maybe I was missing something. Maybe I didn't see it the way she did. However, it didn't make any sense to me.

"He _hated _me back in Twelve", I explained my confusion.

I knew that for a fact. He used to tease me whenever he got the opportunity, making those stupid comments about my family and our privileged life. He also didn't like Katniss hanging out with me. He'd never once been friendly to me when they delivered the strawberries.

But I'd pitied him for living in the Seam and given him the extra money anyway.

"I'm sure he didn't hate you", Greasy Sae replied. "I know his family very well. And I can imagine that he just didn't like being pitied by the Mayor's daughter."

There were these strange moments with Greasy Sae, when she said something that made you believe she'd just read your mind. This was one of them.

But I got what she was saying. Gale kept teasing me because I kept pitying him, and he didn't like it.

"Well, now he's pitying me", I sighed. "And I don't like it either. Everything nice he does is out of pity. He doesn't mean any of it."

"What makes you so sure about that?" Greasy Sae wanted to know.

"Simple", I answered. "Because when Gale showed up at our door last night, he told me not to misunderstand his being nice to me. He was afraid I might read too much into it, I guess."

"Is that what he said?", Greasy Sae asked. "That he didn't want you to read more into it? That he was acting out of pity?"

I hesitated. "No", I had to admit. "But it's what he meant."

For some reason, I stopped walking. What I'd just said, it sounded completely ridiculous. Maybe it was Greasy Sae's presence that made me realize things. When I looked into her blue eyes, I could see that she'd noticed it too.

"Let me tell you something, my dear", she began softly. Her hand was touching my arm, and I just knew that whatever she was about to tell me was true.

"This boy has known you for so long. And you have many things in common, even if you can't see it yet. You're both proud and stubborn, unable to accept one another's sympathy. But he knows that! He knows that you think just like him. That's why he knew you would not believe him, and he came to tell you that he _meant _whatever he said to you."

I hadn't felt more stupid in my entire life. My head felt completely empty. I didn't even know how to respond.

Greasy Sae squeezed my arm. "It's okay, you don't have to say anything."

I looked at her. "He meant it", I said as if to try out the words, hear their sound. Did they sound real? Could it be true?

"I think he did." Greasy Sae nodded. "May I ask what he said to you?"

"He said…" I swallowed. "He said I was diplomatic and thoughtful and just."

"That sounds like he knows you very well, don't you think?"

Yes. Yes, it did. And in that moment, I understood: I owed an apology to Gale Hawthorne. More than an apology. A _Thank you._

My mind was going even further: What if Greasy Sae was right about him finding me interesting? What if he really, honestly _cared _about me?

Everything she'd said made perfect sense, so why not this part as well?

"I need to speak to him", I declared into the empty walkway in front of us. "As soon as possible."

A content grin appeared on Greasy Sae's face. "Indeed, you do."

"But he's under arrest. Because of me", I explained in shame.

"One day of arrest has never killed anyone", Greasy Sae said with a wink. "You can find him tomorrow, darling."

I nodded. Tomorrow it was. "But… what am I supposed to say to him?"

"How about you tell him how you feel?"

Well, how _did _I feel about Gale? I lowered my head, not able to answer this question to myself.

Comforting as always, Greasy Sae patted my arm. "Don't worry, you have all the time in the world to figure it out. For now, it will be enough to tell him you understand."

"I do now", I confirmed quietly, more to myself than to her. "I do understand."

We headed back to our room soon, spending the rest of our walk mostly in silence. The topic of Gale Hawthorne was dropped and thereby it was decided: The next day, my first mission would be to find him.


	6. Chapter 6

My self-declared mission turned out to be harder than I thought.

Gale did not show up to any of the meals the next day, or the day after that. I kept seeing his family in the dining hall, but there was no clue of him.

On the third day after his arrest, I had to admit to myself that I was worried. I felt in my gut that something was wrong. He could not still be under arrest, could he? If so, something else must've happened that I did not know of.

In any case, I needed to find out where he was. So I decided to join his family for lunch.

When I saw them around the table, I felt the emotions rising inside of me again, just like that day I'd had my breakdown. The day when everything started.

But this time, I was able to push through them. This was not about me. I needed to find out about Gale.

"Can I take a seat?", I asked Hazelle Hawthorne as I stopped at their table, tray in hand.

She seemed quite surprised, but I guess she had every right to be. I had never spoken a single word to her back in District 12. In her eyes, I must still be the Mayor's daughter. And she had probably never had a meal with people from the upper class before.

Not that I still belonged in that category.

"Yes, of course", Mrs. Hawthorne said, sounding a bit perplexed.

Gale's sister, a beautiful little girl, watched me carefully as I put my tray down opposite from her. I gave her a smile, the best I could manage in that situation, as she bent over and whispered in her mother's ear: "Who is this, Mommy?"

Mrs. Hawthorne stroked Posy's hair, and it almost broke me. "This is Madge Undersee, sweetie", she said, giving me a warm smile. Gale's smile. "From home."

_Home. _If I wasn't here for a reason, this would've made me tear up in seconds.

"Aren't you Gale's age?", Mrs. Hawthorne asked.

I looked at my plate full of peas, then back at her. "More or less", I confirmed.

She nodded.

It was very awkward. Next to her, Gale's two brothers were whispering to each other. I knew they were talking about me as I caught the word "Mayor" from one of them.

"Boys, don't be rude", Mrs. Hawthorne said. To me, she added: "We rarely had guests in our house in Twelve. I'm sorry, they don't know how to behave."

"Please, don't worry about me, Mrs. Hawthorne", I replied.

"You are very kind, Madge. So, those are Rory and Vick", she introduced the two boys. "This is Posy." The little girl was stuffing a fork full of peas into her mouth. "And please call me Hazelle."

I gave a silent nod to everyone, not sure if I should say something back. I was distracted, though. They all looked so much like Gale: dark hair, dark eyes, and a smile that could light up their whole face.

This was hard. I kept swallowing back tears, pushing back images of my own family – the family I once was a part of, and that was now gone for good.

After a minute, Hazelle cleared her throat. "Madge… Madge went to school with Gale", she introduced me to her children.

I had never been introduced like this before. It was very strange not to be referred to as the Mayor's daughter. I guess I would have to get used to it from now on.

"Where is he?", I blurted out in that moment, just to distract myself from my own depressing thoughts. "Gale?"

Hazelle stared into her plate, not saying anything. It was the strangest of reactions.

"Mommy, you said he's –", Posy began to say, but her mother cut her off sharply.

"Posy! We talked about this!"

Rory and Vick exchanged a knowing look. It all began to seem very suspicious to me.

"Please, I need to speak to him", I tried again.

No answer from Hazelle. Maybe if I explained my situation to her…

"Look, I know I've made a mistake", I said. "He was under arrest because of me. I could've defended him and I didn't. But it's been three days; why is he still not here? What's going on?"

Hazelle shook her head, then finally decided to talk. "Madge, I'm so sorry. I can't tell you where he is", she said in the calmest of voices.

"What do you mean, you can't tell me?" I was beginning to lose my patience. "You don't know or you don't want to?"

Trembling a little bit, she answered: "I can't tell you. That is all I will say."

I felt my eyes tearing up again, this time for a different reason. I was desperate to find Gale, more than I liked to admit. So desperate that I was surprised about my own feelings.

"Please", I begged her. "You must know something! At least tell me when he will be back!"

But Hazelle remained silent.

I hadn't touched a bite of my peas, but for some reason, finding Gale seemed more important than anything now. So I stood up and turned to leave, when Hazelle suddenly caught my wrist.

"Madge, I'm sorry", she said again. "I wish I could help you; I really do."

I looked into her eyes for a moment, those eyes that reminded me of two dark coals. Just like Gale's.

"Please, take my food. I'm not hungry anymore", I declared before shaking off her hand and rushing out of the dining hall.

In the hallway, I needed a moment to calm myself down. I was standing in the same spot I remember sitting a couple days ago, after my breakdown over the beans. And I could picture Gale on the floor next to me, so close that it seemed almost too much to bear, telling me all those things I didn't believe.

All I wanted in this moment was to go back in time and tell him I understood. Instead, I had to apologize to him. I would not stop looking for Gale before I had the opportunity to tell him I was sorry.

Because I _was._

I was sorry about the way I had pitied him in Twelve. Sorry about giving him the extra money for the strawberries and not thinking for a second about how it would make him feel. Sorry for rotting him out in front of the guard, and for not believing that he could have honest intentions.

Now I knew him better, all thanks to Greasy Sae. She made me understand that despite our different backgrounds, we were actually very alike. And even though it felt scary to think of Gale this way, it also felt surprisingly good.

* * *

I stopped in front of the heavy metal doors that seemed pretty threatening, seeing them for the first time. _RESTRICTED AREA _was written in capital letters next to a small bolted window and a red button. I pressed it without hesitating. If I began to think about what I was doing here, I knew it might make me turn around. And that way I would never find Gale.

It was inevitable: I had to go to the prison if I wanted to find him.

To be fair, it wasn't really a prison. The people from Thirteen called it the Justice Tract. It was the place where they sentenced people for all kinds of misdemeanors and had them sit out their punishment in the cells.

The last place that I knew for a fact Gale had been to.

The window opened after a couple minutes and a guard appeared. From the perplexed look on his face, I could tell that he had not been expecting someone like me here.

"Good afternoon, young lady", he greeted me after the first moment of surprise. "Your name, please?"

I cleared my throat. "Madge Undersee, Sir."

"Undersee", he repeated to himself. "Huh. I feel like I've heard that name before. You're from Twelve?"

"Yes, Sir."

"I see. So what brings you here, Miss Undersee?", the guard asked then.

"I'm looking for someone", I announced. "Gale Hawthorne." There was a trace of hope in my voice when I said his name.

The guard just nodded. I could hear him flipping some pages in a book. "I have to ask you to wait for my colleague. He will be with you shortly."

That was all he said before he shut the window in my face. After a little while, it opened again and another guard appeared. I recognized him as the one who had found us in the hallway after curfew that night. The one who had taken Gale.

"Good day, Miss Undersee", he said. "I remember you. And your friend, Mr. Hawthorne."

I looked at him without saying a word, waiting for him to tell me what was going on. Surely, Gale was still here and there was a reason for it. He must've done _something _wrong for them to keep him here. Maybe he had insulted someone or started a fight. I knew he could have a temper sometimes; I'd seen his reaction in school when some kids were picking on his brother.

"Unfortunately, I have to inform you that he's not here anymore", the guard told me in that moment. "Mr. Hawthorne has been released two days ago, just as planned."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Sorry, what?"

"Your friend is not here", the guard repeated, looking skeptical. "Is everything all right, Miss Undersee? Perhaps we should report him as missing?"

"Oh, no – it's fine", I replied quickly.

If Gale was truly missing, his mother would not have reacted the way she had at lunch. I was convinced she knew where Gale was. It felt like everybody knew, except for me. And no one was willing to tell me anything.

I squeezed my hand into a fist, so tight that it hurt.

"Thank you", I told the guard. "I'm sure he's with his family, then."

"Oh, you're welcome", he replied. "But I have to remind you of your obligation to report the missing of a person, should this be the case. I request for you to go straight to the authorities if you are not able to locate Mr. Hawthorne."

"Thank you very much, Sir", I said. "I will."

But of course, even though I would like to do so, there was no way I could've reported Gale as missing. Because he wasn't. He had to be somewhere in this neverending labyrinth of underground tunnels and hallways. Missed, but not missing.


	7. Chapter 7

Walking back the empty hallways to my room, I wondered if it was my fault Gale was gone. Maybe he was just mad and avoiding me. Maybe that's why he didn't eat meals with his family in the dining hall. Because I had really hurt his feelings and he couldn't stand seeing me anymore.

Sadly, it was a possibility. And it almost made me cry, which was very disturbing for me. I could never have guessed that Gale being gone would mean such a great deal to me, but it did.

The only person who could help me now was Greasy Sae. She had been in bed sick for the last two days, so I was pretty sure she didn't know where Gale was. But talking to her might make me feel better. And maybe she had an idea where else to look for him; what to do next.

I tried hard to think of some other place he could be, but I didn't know him well enough. I had been avoiding him for so long now. This whole thing still seemed crazy to me.

Was I really running up and down District 13 to locate Gale Hawthorne? And if I found him, what would I even say?

_"How about you tell him how you feel", _Greasy Sae's voice echoed in my head.

Well, at the moment I felt very confused. And scared. And angry. Angry at myself, mostly, for reading his behavior completely wrong.

Now there was this fear inside of me that I kept trying to push back into the very last corner of my heart, or it might overwhelm me and cause another breakdown.

It was the fear that Gale might have left for good.

How could I know he was still in District 13? Hadn't I told him that I didn't want him in my life? That I needed to deal with things on my own?

Well, here I was, without him. Wishing I could take back all my words from that night.

Gale must really hate me after all this. Maybe I had hurt him more than I could imagine, and he just couldn't stand being here anymore. Could he hate me _that_ much?

I was completely worked up over this when I reached my room. I just hoped that Greasy Sae would be able to help me somehow. Even a soothing word from her would be enough.

However, when I pushed open the door, I quickly realized she was not in her bed. The only person in the room was old Joe, the former owner of a sweetshop in District 12, half-asleep in his chair.

When I closed the door behind me, he blinked and opened his eyes.

I usually didn't speak much to the people in my room, except I knew Joe since I'd been a little girl. The kids from Town used to go to his shop after school sometimes. And every year before the Reaping, to calm our nerves.

"Looking for your friend?", Joe muttered, nodding in the direction of my bunk bed.

As someone who got to sell candy to children every day, he used to be very happy. Obviously, moving to District 13 had had its effect on him as well.

"You know where she is?", I replied.

Old Joe adjusted his glasses, then looked at me through tired eyes.

"They took her to the hospital", he said matter-of-factly.

"What? Why?"

"She was coughing up there like crazy, couldn't breathe. I'm telling you, I was convinced she would bite the dust right here and now."

I shook my head. How could he be so completely calm about the situation he just described?

Thankfully, even though my mind seemed too clouded to do anything, my body was still able to react. I left the room without saying anything.

Back in the hallway, my feet started lifting me off the ground faster and faster. I was running. I didn't even think about where I was going, but somehow my body was leading me in the right direction. The whole way to the hospital wing felt awfully strange to me: Like I was watching myself from outside my body.

But I knew that I would've had another breakdown if I allowed myself to think about Gale, Greasy Sae, anything at all. Instead I just needed to get to hospital wing and then take it from there. Find out what happened, talk to Greasy Sae, find Gale.

If she was even still alive and he was still in the district.

_Okay, what are you talking about, Madge? Of course Greasy Sae is alive. There is no way she wouldn't be. Because if something happened to her… Remember what happened to your parents. If Greasy Sae was gone, you would really have no one left. You'd be all alone._

I began to feel things, things I didn't want to feel right now. Tears were stinging in my eyes. Exactly the reason why I didn't want to think.

My vision was blurry, but miraculously my feet still knew their way.

Suddenly the hospital wing was coming up in front of me, and there was Primrose Everdeen. I didn't recognize her at first – my mind was just all over the place.

"Prim?"

"Madge! What is it, are you hurt?", she asked me in a worried tone.

She looked so grown up, with her tight bun and white nurse gown. But she still had the same eyes that would stare at me as intensely as the day she was reaped. I remembered it vividly, as if it happened just yesterday. Those big eyes on me as if it was my fault, begging me to do something, and then Katniss' hand shooting up in the air.

It was the day everything started to get out of hand, really.

In the hospital wing, right in that moment, thinking of Katniss seemed to be the last straw. It was all too much for me to handle. My parents, my home, Gale, Greasy Sae, Katniss… _It was all wrong._

We were standing in the reception area, Prim clutching both of my arms, when I finally broke down. I sank to my knees and began sobbing uncontrollably. It was so bad that I kept gasping for air, feeling like I was about to drown.

Prim was on the ground right next to me, like Gale had been the day of my first breakdown. I felt her stroking my hair in soft movements and caught myself wishing it was Gale, holding me close in his strong arms, pressing me to his chest.

It confused me so much to think of him this way. But more than anything else, it wrecked me that I had no idea where he was. I kept thinking I would never see him again, and what then?

"It's okay", Prim whispered in my ear. "Please, Madge, calm down. Everything's all right. Just tell me what I can do!"

The hatred I felt for President Snow in that moment was indescribable. How could a sweet girl like Prim ever get reaped? A world where the Capitol had the cruelty to sacrifice someone like her was not a world I wanted to live in.

Maybe it was the bright lights shining down on me, maybe just Prim's soothing words, but something about this place made me come to my senses. And I finally remembered what I came here for.

"Greasy Sae", I told Prim in between sobs. I took some deep breaths, trying to calm myself down.

Prim gave me an encouraging smile. "Greasy Sae? You know her?"

"She's… She's staying in my… in my room", I got out.

"I see." Prim helped me to my feet, then squeezed my hand. "Madge, there's no need to worry. Greasy Sae is fine."

I let out a sigh of relief. "She is?"

"Yes", Prim confirmed. "I treated her myself. She's fine now, sleeping like a baby."

"Can I…?"

"Of course you can. Follow me." With a wink, Prim took my arm and led me down a corridor to our right.

On the way to Greasy Sae's room, I managed to control my breathing and quickly wiped the tears from my cheeks before we entered. I was still thankful that she was asleep and could not see my bloated face.

There she was, sleeping peacefully in her hospital bed like nothing had happened. Her breathing seemed just fine. I gave Prim a tight hug.

"Thank you", I whispered, but she just shrugged.

"It's what I do."

"Can I stay?", I asked quietly.

"As long as you want", Prim replied. "But I'm afraid I have to get back to work –"

"Of course! Don't worry about me."

"You sure you're okay?"

I attempted a smile. "I am now."

And for the moment, I was.

* * *

Prim left me with Greasy Sae, who was sleeping soundly while I sat next to her bed and patted her hand from time to time. It was so soothing to watch her sleep, I felt like I could stay in that room with her forever.

After some time, Prim returned to check on us. I noticed she didn't wear her nurse gown anymore.

"It's my break now", she announced after quickly checking up on Greasy Sae. "You wanna come outside with me for a bit?"

_Outside. _Like we could actually go out and see the sun, breathe in the fresh air. It seemed like a long-lost dream.

Prim cleared her throat. "Sorry, I meant… out of here. Out of the hospital wing."

She must've felt it too. Just like everyone who came here from Twelve. Even though this was kind of our safe haven, we couldn't help but feel like prisoners from time to time.

"It's okay", I replied and gave her the slightest smile. "Let's go."

With one last glance at Greasy Sae, I followed Prim out of the room. Much to my surprise, she told me she liked to talk a walk around the farms, which were located not far from the hospital wing.

So we went there.

"Okay, tell me what's going on with you, Madge", Prim said after we had walked in silence for a bit. "Something's up, I can tell. You were a wreck when you came in today."

All I could do was nod. She was right; I was a complete wreck. And I would be until I managed to find Gale Hawthorne. _If_ I managed to find him.

"Madge?"

"Sorry", I hurried to say. "It's just a lot of things. But I don't wanna bother you with my problems, really. You should enjoy your break…"

"I am", Prim replied, smiling at me. "So, why don't you start with one thing?"

She was so pretty, just like Katniss. And even though she had been working all day, she didn't seem in the least exhausted. She must really like working in the hospital. Katniss told me she'd always enjoyed gathering herbs for medicine with her mother.

I just wished I had something that I enjoyed as much as she enjoyed this. Then again, there had been one thing…

Anyway, better not to think about it now. Things were hard enough as it was.

"I miss home", I whispered. "My parents."

I had to swallow back tears. Prim took my hand and squeezed it tightly. She was so good at taking care of people.

"I know how you feel", she said quietly. "I miss Katniss, too."

I nodded. "It must be hard, not knowing where she is right now."

Something about Prim's expression changed. It quivered, for just a split second. Suddenly, she stopped walking and took both of my hands. We were alone in the corridor.

"What's happening here?", I asked her curiously.

"Shhh. Promise not to tell this to anyone, okay?", Prim replied in a hushed voice.

"Tell _what_?"

Prim sighed. "It's about Katniss. I figured you're her best friend, so I can't really keep this to myself, can I?"

"Okay, fine", I said. "I promise not to tell anyone about… this."

After another glance in both directions, Prim leaned in closer and whispered: "Gale is on his way to get her. Right in this moment."

I was completely taken aback by what she'd just said.

She knew where he was. And after all, I had been right about him leaving the district. It made perfect sense, if I thought about it: Him getting away from me and back to Katniss.

It had always been Katniss. Maybe it was true, maybe he'd been interested in me. With her gone, who would blame him?

But he would never choose me over Katniss. Not in a million years.

"Does she love him back?", I asked Prim out of the blue. From the perplexed look on her face, I could tell this was not the question she'd expected from me right now.

After a moment of hesitation, she said firmly: "Katniss is in love with Peeta, Madge."

"But Gale is in love with her, isn't he?", I pressed on. "He's always been. It was so obvious when they used to sell me strawberries together."

Prim hesitated again, and it felt like a sting to my heart. "Katniss will always be special to him", she said then. "But lately… I don't know. It feels like he might have his eyes set on someone else."

She raised her eyebrows at me, but I just shook my head.

"You think he cares about me", I noted. "Greasy Sae thinks it too. But you're both wrong, he doesn't – he shouldn't!"

"Don't try to tell Gale what he should or shouldn't do", Prim replied with a smirk. "Trust me, it doesn't end well. He asked about you a couple times, you know?"

I couldn't help it, I was curious. "Asked what exactly?"

"How you were doing. What I thought he could do to help you. Those kinds of things."

I sighed, remembering everything that had happened since Gale began trying to help me. "You don't understand, Prim. Gale has been nothing but kind to me, but I have treated him like dirt. He ended up in the Justice Tract because I ratted him out in front a guard! And I told him I do not want him in my life anymore –"

"But you do", Prim cut me off. "Right?"

"Yes." It felt so good to finally say it out loud. Then, suddenly, the full meaning of Prim's revelation hit me like a slap in the face.

"He's going to the Capitol?", I whispered in shock. "I need to apologize, Prim! What if… What if he's not…?"

I couldn't bear finishing the sentence, as much as I knew in my heart that I couldn't bear losing him.

"I've been trying to find him for days", I continued, tears in my eyes. "And now he's gone. I can't believe he's gone!"

"Madge, hey", Prim replied soothingly. "It's okay. It's a good thing. He will bring Katniss back to us, he promised."

"Well, he can't make a promise like that!"

I was getting all worked up again, but I couldn't help it. Now that I finally knew where Gale was, I had to live with the very real possibility that I might never see him again.

"This could be a suicide mission! We could be waiting and waiting –"

"But we won't", she declared. "They have planned this for ages, Haymitch and his team. And I trust them."

"Don't you understand, Prim? They are going to the Capitol! There is so much that could go wrong!"

"We cannot think about this right now", Prim said. "We have to trust in their ability to do this."

She looked at me from large eyes. "Do you remember how Gale rescued us from Twelve when the bombs fell? You trusted him with your life that day, Madge. Now you have to trust him again."

Oh, I remembered. How could I forget?

Standing next to Gale while the bombs fell on my house. His strong arms keeping me from running back inside, and finally carrying me away. Into the woods, where the ships from Thirteen awaited us.

I owed him my life, I knew I did. And if anyone could get Katniss from the Capitol, I knew it was him. But still, that feeling of immense fear was nagging at me from inside, threatening to swallow me whole.

If he didn't come back, I just couldn't bear it.

"It's okay, Madge", I heard Prim say. She was pulling me into a hug. "We have to be strong now."

She was right. As I pressed my face into her golden hair, I realized that tears would do me no good. I needed to keep it together and stay strong.

For Prim, for myself, and most of all: for Gale.


	8. Chapter 8

On our way back to the hospital, Prim informed me about the latest news she got from Alma Coin, the mayor of District 13. As family members of Katniss Everdeen, Prim and her mother belonged to the few people in the district who actually knew what was going on.

Of course, they were not supposed to tell anyone about the mission until the rescue team had safely returned with as many victors as possible. They were expected back in Thirteen before tomorrow morning.

Prim also offered me to stay with her and her mother for the night. I felt awful sleeping in Katniss' bed, but Mrs. Everdeen and Prim insisted. Not that I would get much sleep that night, anyway.

I was awake for hours and hours, staring into the darkness above me, my thoughts lost on Gale and Katniss and whoever else was on that ship right then. My heart was pounding heavily in my chest. I was just so afraid they wouldn't come back. And then I was feeling guilty for being afraid about Gale even though Katniss was supposed to be my best friend.

It all just seemed so complicated to me. I didn't understand my own emotions anymore.

After a long time, I finally managed to shut down my thoughts and drift off to sleep. I awoke from the sound of knocks on the door and two pairs of shoes entering the room shortly after.

In the dim light that was falling in through the open door from the hallway, I could make out two men in guard's uniforms. I sat up straight.

"It's time", one of them announced. "Please follow us immediately."

"Is she all right?", Prim asked before Mrs. Everdeen or I could say anything. "Katniss?"

"I'm afraid I cannot give you this information", the guard replied. "You will have to come with us to the hangar."

Prim was out of bed within a second and tugging at my arm. Mrs. Everdeen was right behind her. We had all slept in our clothes as we knew what was coming. I quickly grabbed my shoes and coat and rushed out of the room behind Prim and her mother.

While we hurried through the dark corridors, I clutched Prim's hand as tightly as I could. In a few minutes, we would finally see them again. My heart felt like it might jump out of my throat any second.

When we arrived at the hangar, the first thing I saw was the ship. People were scattered all over the place: Guards, nurses and soldiers. I thought I spotted Haymitch in the crowd, but then I lost sight of him again.

Mayor Coin was coming our way to greet us. "Mrs. Everdeen, Primrose." Her eyes stopped on me. "And who is this young lady?"

I barely got out my name, my voice was so shaky. "I'm Madge Undersee."

"Mayor Undersee's daughter and Katniss' closest friend", Mrs. Everdeen added, and I winced when she mentioned my father.

"Welcome, Madge." Mayor Coin gave me a warm smile and shook my hand. "Any friend of Katniss is a friend of ours here in Thirteen."

Then she addressed all of us. "I do not mean to torture you any longer. You will be relieved to hear that the team has managed to bring Katniss back safely. She is still unconscious and on her way to the hospital wing for further examination. Just a precautionary measure", she added when Mrs. Everdeen let out a gasp.

"So she's okay?", Prim asked, already in tears.

"The nurses say she seems well."

Immediately, Prim threw her arms around my neck. I felt waves of relief washing over me as I exhaled deeply. It seemed like I'd been holding my breath for a very long time.

_Katniss is okay, _I kept telling myself over and over again. _She's here and safe and all right. Everything will be all right now._

There was just one thing missing. One thing I was unable to forget about, even in this moment.

"Can we see her?", Mrs. Everdeen asked then, tearing me from my thoughts.

"Of course", Mayor Coin said. "I'll have someone escort you to the hospital wing right away."

"Wait!", I heard myself say all of a sudden. "What about Gale?"

"Gale Hawthorne", Prim added. "Do you have any information on him?"

"Gale Hawthorne", Mayor Coin repeated slowly, as if his name rang a bell somewhere deep in her mind. She looked around for a second, then shook her head. "Not at the moment, I am afraid. But you are welcome to stay behind and look for Haymitch Abernathy. I'm sure he will have further information on all of the rescue team."

"It's okay", Mrs. Everdeen replied. "It must be a crazy day for you, we understand. And we are so thankful to you for bringing Katniss back alive." She was tearing up, and Prim leaned into her side to steady her.

Meanwhile a strange feeling was rising in my gut. Something just felt off about Gale not being here. And as much as I wanted to see Katniss, I knew in my heart that I could not go to her without having found him first.

Mayor Coin was already summoning a couple of guards when I announced to Prim and Mrs. Everdeen that I wouldn't come with them to the hospital wing.

"Please don't get me wrong", I said, "I am incredibly happy that Katniss is safe and okay. But right now, I just can't –"

"Don't you worry about us", Mrs. Everdeen cut me off. "Stay here and find Gale. Katniss is not going anywhere."

"I will visit her as soon as I can", I promised. "Thank you so much for everything."

Mrs. Everdeen smiled and pulled me in for a hug. Prim did the same.

"Say hi to Gale for me", she whispered in my ear, and I told her I would.

I had made it this far. There was no way I would give up now, not before I found him.

As soon as Mayor Coin, Prim and Mrs. Everdeen had left for the hospital wing, I pushed my way through the crowd closer to the ship, in the direction I thought I'd seen Haymitch earlier.

It was crazy, all the people hurrying around the hangar as if President Snow himself had just arrived, but there was no clue of the one person I actually was looking for.

After pushing my way through the crowd for a bit, I came to a stop next to an area where nurses were tending to hurt soldiers. I went down the row and checked every face, but Gale was not among them. I should probably be relieved about this. I just had to keep looking.

So I decided to stay in one spot for a while and scan the people around me for a familiar face – without success. Even Haymitch seemed to have vanished into thin air.

Eventually, the crowd began to dissipate. It seemed like the rescued victors had already been taken into special care, and the nurses were packing up their supplies as all the soldiers of the rescue team had been sent either home or on to the hospital wing.

I could see everyone in the hangar very clearly now, and there was still no trace of Haymitch or Gale. I must've missed them. But where should I look if I had no idea what had happened to them?

The best case scenario was that Gale had already gone back to his family. But there was no way I could know that. What if he was hurt? Or worse, what if he hadn't made it back?

My heart began racing in my chest at the thought.

Suddenly, I noticed a guard coming up to me. He didn't seem particularly happy with me being here. "What are you doing here, young lady?", he wanted to know, and not in a friendly way.

I cleared my throat. "I'm looking for Gale Hawthorne, Sir. Do you happen to have any information on his whereabouts?"

"Before I can tell you anything, I will need your name." I didn't like the sound of his voice. It made me feel very unwelcome.

"It's Madge Undersee", I told him. "From District 12. I'm a close friend of Katniss Everdeen's."

The guard furrowed his brow. "May I ask who authorized you to be here, Miss Undersee? This is a special operations area. Staff and family members only."

"I was with the Everdeens", I hurried to explain. I knew I was out of place, but I could not leave before I had found what I was looking for. "Please, just tell me if you know something about Gale Hawthorne. Anything."

But the guard ignored my question. "I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave", he said matter-of-factly. "You can't be here without an authorization, Miss Undersee."

"What? No, please!", I begged him. "I have to find Gale! He has to be here! Please, you don't understand –"

"Rules are rules", the guard interrupted me, already pushing me away from the ship. "You should be glad I'm not arresting you for being out after curfew. But if you don't leave voluntarily, I will have to take you to the Justice Tract."

I let out a sigh of frustration. "No, it's okay. I'll go."

Of course, it wasn't okay. Nothing was. A few hours ago, I had been eagerly awaiting the moment I'd see Gale again. And now I was in the same position as before: With no clue where he was. For all I knew, something horrible could've happened to him and I would never in my life see him again.

How tragic that the last time we met, I told him I wanted nothing to do with him ever again. I'd had no idea how quickly these words could become true.

So now I was back at the beginning of my search. But I could still go to the hospital. Check for him there and see Katniss, like I promised.

Under the stern eyes of the guard, I made my way across the almost empty hangar. It was quite far from the hospital wing and I felt uncomfortable walking the hallways of Thirteen all alone in the middle of the night, but I had no choice. I just hoped I wouldn't encounter another guard and end up in a cell after all.

This was bad, I realized as I walked by myself for a while.

I had not found Gale and I still had no clue where he was, if he was even here. The possibility that something bad had happened to him was growing in my mind with every second. What if I did find him in the hospital? What if he was seriously injured?

_Don't think about that right now, _I told myself. _You'll find out soon enough._


	9. Chapter 9

The hospital wing was exceptionally busy and under high security when I reached it. Luckily, Prim found me in the hallway as I was trying to argue my way to Katniss against a nurse and two guards.

"Madge! Did you come here on your own?", she asked in surprise.

I shrugged. Why would anyone want to accompany me here? I was nowhere near as important as Prim and her mother, let alone Katniss. In this district, I was no one.

"They won't tell me where she is", I explained to her. "They won't tell me _anything._"

Prim opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it again. I could see in her eyes that she wanted to ask about Gale. Of course, I had asked the nurse for him as well – without success.

So I was glad that Prim let it go. I really wanted to focus on Katniss right now.

"I'm sorry, but we have clear instructions by Mayor Coin not to let anyone near Katniss Everdeen", the nurse told Prim. "Family only."

Prim crossed her arms above her chest. "Well, I _am_ family, in case you haven't noticed. Also, Katniss seems to be the most important person in this district right now, and if you do not let her best friend in, I will personally make sure that she gets you all fired as soon as she wakes up."

My mouth literally dropped open after hearing Prim give that speech, but at the same time, I did not know how to thank her. She had done so much for me already. There was a special kindness in her that I'd only seen in one other person so far, and that person was Katniss.

It reminded me of why we became best friends in the first place.

After exchanging a quick glance with the guards, the nurse finally nodded at me. "I suppose we could grant you special permission to see Miss Everdeen."

Prim nudged me in the side and giggled as we left them behind us. I followed her to the end of the corridor, where she opened a door and waved me inside.

I entered a very small, white room. Mrs. Everdeen was sitting on a chair in front of a big window.

"Madge, you made it." She greeted me with a warm smile.

Prim closed the door behind us, and as I looked to my left through the large windowpane, I finally saw Katniss. I stepped up to the glass.

She was laying in bed with her eyes closed and various machines connected to her body. Nurses and doctors were rushing around her, several security guards placed at the doorway.

"But… they said she was okay", I whispered, my gaze stuck on her motionless figure. Then I felt Prim's hand on my shoulder.

"They are just doing some tests", she said quietly. "As far as we know, there is no need to worry."

"Her body is exhausted, but they could not identify any serious injuries", Mrs. Everdeen added from behind us. I could hear the slightest trace of worry in her voice. "She is expected to wake up within the next few hours."

"We will stay here", Prim informed me.

I nodded absentmindedly. "Of course."

"Also…" Prim cleared her throat. "Also, Gale is not here. I asked about him, but apparently, he was never here. I'm sorry, Madge."

"You didn't find him in the hangar?", Mrs. Everdeen asked. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Prim giving her a sharp look.

"Well, I'm sure he's already home with his family", her mother hurried to say. "Maybe you should go home, too. Try to get some rest. We will figure it all out tomorrow."

Naturally, I wanted to protest – I just got here and the right thing to do sure was to stay until Katniss woke up. And I had fought the guards so hard to let me in.

But part of me knew that Mrs. Everdeen was right. After all I'd been through today, I felt unbelievably tired. It had to be almost morning by now, and I felt like I hadn't slept in days. Which was probably true.

Ever since Gale went missing, sleep had been impossible for me.

I had told myself I would not stop until I found him, and yet here I was, without him, watching an unconscious Katniss being swarmed by doctors and nurses. What good was I to her at the moment? What good would I be to her when she woke up?

Her mother and Prim would be there.

So if Gale wasn't at the hospital, I really saw no reason to stay any longer.

"I will stay if you want me to", I offered to Prim and Mrs. Everdeen.

Prim gave me a long look. "No, Mom's right, Madge. You're tired; you should go home."

"But I want to be there for Katniss –", I started to explain, fighting my own bad conscience, but Prim cut me off.

"Don't be ridiculous! You've been there for her so many times during the last year."

"Just get some sleep and come back tomorrow", Mrs. Everdeen added from the other side. "And don't worry about Katniss. We'll be here when she wakes up."

"I should ask a guard to get you home, though", Prim said.

I shook my head. "Oh, it's okay, I can do that", I said quickly. "I will ask someone."

Actually, I just wanted to be alone, even if it meant walking the dark corridors back to my room all by myself. But Prim and Mrs. Everdeen would never let me go on my own.

So I hurried to put on my most convincing face for them.

"Are you sure?", Prim asked, just like I knew she would. "I don't mind talking to the guards for you."

"I'm a big girl, you know", I replied. I didn't say that I had no choice but to be a big girl ever since we came here, because there was no one left to take care of me.

My gaze wandered from Prim to Katniss. She seemed peaceful, even though people kept rushing around her like ants. Her features were soft. There were no visible injuries, or anything that might lead to believe she'd been mistreated in the Capitol. From what I saw, she could've been asleep like any normal person.

"I'm so glad she's safe", I whispered, more to myself than to anyone else. "I've missed my best friend."

Then I turned to Prim and her mother again. "She's going to be all right, just like the doctors told you. She has made it this far, and she's a fighter."

"We know she is", Mrs. Everdeen agreed, giving me a weak smile.

I went over to where she was sitting and gave her a tight hug. "Please give Katniss my best when she wakes up", I told her.

Mrs. Everdeen nodded. "Of course, my dear."

Prim also hugged me goodbye. "It was nice to see you here, Madge. Now get some rest."

"I will be back as soon as I can", I promised her, and I really mean it.

"I'll let you know tomorrow if I hear anything about Gale", Prim whispered in my ear before pulling away.

I just looked at her, unable to say anything. After one last glance at Katniss, I turned away and went for the door.

"Take care, Madge", I heard Mrs. Everdeen say right before I slipped through.

In the hallway, I kept my gaze down and strode right past the nurses and guards coming my way. It worked; no one even bothered talking to me.

It wasn't until I passed the reception and stepped out of the foyer into the early morning of District 13 that I realized once again: I was alone. I had failed. I had no idea where Gale was, or even where to get any information on his whereabouts. I did not know if I would find him tomorrow, or the day after that, or never.

All I knew was that never felt like an awfully long time without him.


	10. Chapter 10

This was it, my last chance. The Hawthorne's door. And my fingers lingering just inches away.

It felt weird, knocking on their door in the middle of the night just to see Gale, which was probably why I kept hesitating. But I needed to know.

I needed to know if he'd been here all along, safe and sound, home with his family.

I just wanted to hear his voice and then leave. One word would be enough for me to have my peace. He didn't even have to talk at all! One look of him and I'd be gone.

I didn't really know what had brought me here. After the hospital, I actually just wanted to go back to my room and sleep it off. There had to be a way to find new information tomorrow, somehow.

But instead of going to my room, my subconscious seemed to have led me right to Gale Hawthorne's door. I was surprised part of me was even still able to find it, given that I had seen the place only once – at our arrival in Thirteen. After that, I'd been trying my best to avoid Gale and his family.

It all seemed so stupid to me now, how I kept running away from my own feelings. I should've been happy for them. What happened to my parents wasn't their fault. On the contrary: If it weren't for Gale, the last member of my family would've died that night, too.

When I finally knocked on the door, I didn't think about what would happen if he wasn't there. He _had _to be; it was the only logical conclusion from this night. Because if he wasn't home, there was only one option left… and I really didn't wanna go there.

So I waited, holding my breath.

Second after second passed. It was so quiet in the hallway, I could hear my own heartbeat like drums in my ears. My whole body was vibrating.

Nothing happened.

I shook my head, knocked again. Maybe I'd messed it up. Maybe I hadn't knocked in the first place. But now, definitely, my hand connected with the door.

I knocked loudly. Someone _had _to hear it. Even if they were asleep.

I waited and waited, but still: nothing.

And in that moment, an intense wave of unease hit me. I knew in my heart that something was wrong. It had to be. I was convinced something had happened to Gale, something bad. I'd looked everywhere for him; where else could he be now?

"No", I whispered to myself, knocking a third time. "Gale, please. Open up."

Tears sprung to my eyes. I felt like I was beginning to lose my mind.

_You can figure it out tomorrow, _a voice in my head kept telling me, but I made it shut up.

There was no reason for me to believe things would be different tomorrow. If Gale had been left behind in the Capitol, hurt, possibly dead, that would still be the case. And it just became very likely that I would never in my life see him again.

"No", I repeated to myself over and over again. "No. No!"

I was stumbling away from Gale's door, leaning against the cold stone wall for support. I had officially given up. Not only on finding Gale, but on believing that I ever would.

I was already awaiting the news I would no doubt receive tomorrow, telling me that he hadn't made it back to Thirteen.

It was very much fitting, I thought. Gale was a rebel; he'd always been. And now he'd actually sacrificed himself to save Katniss. I was so thankful to him for bringing her back. He saved both of us. He was a hero.

I was crying as I wandered through the empty corridors, not even caring about the guards anymore. A day under arrest meant nothing to me. In fact, it was no different from what the rest of my life would be like without Gale. I almost wished to be arrested, so I wouldn't have to face everyone's grief and pity when they found out about Gale tomorrow.

And his family. It would destroy me to see them after losing Gale.

_It's okay_, I tried to tell myself while making my way back to my room. _You've lost so much already. And somehow you're still alive, aren't you?_

But at this point, I didn't feel so alive anymore. I was barely more than the empty shell of a body whose insides had been eaten up by a tornado. Now there was nothing left inside of me. All emotions had been washed away along with the hope of finding Gale.

I kept going with all the energy I had left, stumbling along the wall step by step until I finally reached my room.

And then, at the last corner, I heard it: Footsteps. Quiet, but firm. The steps of a guard.

It was almost unbelievable that I'd gone the whole night without being caught. Until now. Of course, I couldn't be that lucky. In fact, I had sworn to never consider myself as lucky again.

I swallowed my tears and rounded the corner in defeat. The words were already on my lips – _"I'm terribly sorry, Sir, but I'm a close friend of Katniss Everdeen's…" – _when I realized that it wasn't a guard.

"Madge?", a familiar voice reached my ears.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

_No, _I told myself, _this can't be real. Your mind is playing tricks on you, Madge. You've finally lost it._

"Madge", the voice said again, this time a statement more than a question.

And even though I was looking right at him, I couldn't bring myself to believe it was really him.

Gale Hawthorne, in front of my doorstep, calling my name. The same Gale Hawthorne I'd believed to be lost forever only seconds ago.

"Gale?", I sniffled, wiping the tears off my face with the back of my hand.

He took a step in my direction. "Yeah", he replied, sounding confused as he looked at me. "Madge… What happened to you?"

"I was… I was at your complex", I stuttered, realizing how pathetic I must sound.

Gale raised an eyebrow at me. "Why?"

"Looking for you! But no one answered the door, so I thought –"

"I told them not to open the door for anyone at night", Gale interrupted me. "It's safer when I'm not around to protect them."

"Well, what if it's an official from Thirteen?" I don't know how I even came up with that question, as if it mattered to me at all.

Gale smirked. "They are able to open the door by themselves, I believe."

I felt so damn stupid in that moment. And Gale kept staring at me like I'd finally lost my mind. Which, admittedly, was a pretty accurate assumption based on everything I had done in the past few days to find him.

I'd been going crazy over the thought that I would never see him again, and now here he was: Gale Hawthorne as he lived and breathed, that damn smirk on his face, so close to me that one step would be enough to touch him. And as I came to that realization, I couldn't hold back any longer.

Tentatively, I took that step.

I just stepped right into his chest, wrapped my arms around him and pressed my face into his chest. After a second, I felt his arms closing tight around me.

We stayed like this for a while.

The only thing I heard was his drumming heartbeat drumming right next to my ear, and I thought I had never been so relieved, so happy to hear someone's heartbeat in my entire life. I couldn't help but start sobbing again. It surprised me that there were any tears left by this point.

Gale took both of my arms and pushed me off his chest so he could look at me.

"Madge, what's going on with you?", he asked softly.

I was caught up on his face, his beautiful eyes and the wrinkles of worry on his forehead. Here he was, back alive from the Capitol, perfectly fine, as far as I could tell.

It was almost too good to be true.

"I waited for you at the hangar", I explained in tears. "And at the hospital. And then I thought… I thought maybe you didn't make it back…" I took a deep breath, trying to get back to the point. "But you did, and… I _need_ to tell you how sorry I am."

"You're… sorry?" Gale seemed very confused. Once again, I must sound like a crazy person to him.

"For the other night", I explained, wiping at my cheeks. "For getting you arrested."

"Oh, that", Gale replied. Then he wiped away my tears with his thumb as if it were the most natural thing on earth. "Here you go."

"So… you don't hate me?", I pressed on. "After everything I did to you? The way I treated you, even back in Twelve?"

This time, Gale just laughed at me. "You're being absolutely ridiculous, Madge."

Somehow I was still not convinced. Too much had changed in the past few days. I knew I had done him wrong, but I was not the same person anymore, and I needed him to see that.

Gale looked at me and sighed. "I mean it", he said firmly, taking both of my hands in his. "I know I was pushing you too hard, and you overreacted. It's okay!"

"No, it's not!", I protested. "I've been treating you with pity my entire life. And still, you saved me. You only ever tried to help me, and I got you arrested."

"It's not a big deal, Madge."

"I should've apologized to you earlier", I rambled on, not even listening to him. "I should've gone to that cell the next day and –"

"Madge, stop!", Gale cut me off, squeezing my hands. "Okay, yes, I was hurt by what you said. But I knew you didn't mean it. It's all good now, I promise."

"So why did you leave without saying a word? I was looking for you for _days _before Prim told me about the mission!"

"That was not my intention, trust me", Gale explained. "I thought I had more time. I wanted to find you before we left, but then we had to move fast and… I had no choice, okay?"

I remained silent, not sure what to believe in that moment. I felt like Gale _had _to hate me for everything I'd done to him, and for some reason he just didn't want to admit it. Or maybe I was hating myself more than I actually should?

"After we got back, I came right here", Gale went on. "Because you were the first person I wanted to see."

For the first time since I found him here, I really looked at him, head to toe. He was still wearing his uniform, his protection vest, the heavy black boots. And in his face, I could see the stress and anxiety of a long, dangerous mission wearing off and being replaced by plain exhaustion.

Suddenly, I felt bad looking at him.

Even though he had just risked his life in the Capitol to save Katniss and the others, he had still decided to come to me first, to set things right. Apparently, I was _that _important to him.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here", I said quietly, staring at my feet. "I went to the hangar with Prim and her mother. Waiting for you."

"Yeah, I figured", Gale said. "When I got here, Sweettooth Joe opened the door and told me – "

"How did you just call him?", I piped in.

"Who, Sweettooth Joe? He was kind of a legend back in Twelve", Gale explained. "Used to give us Seam kids free candy all the time."

It made me smile out of nowhere. Really smile, which I hadn't been able to do in a long time.

"You are so pretty when you smile", Gale noted softly, and I felt my whole face heat up.

Gale blushed a little, too. "Anyway, he told me you were not there, so I decided to wait for you."

"So you've been here all night?", I asked in disbelief.

He nodded. "Since we landed, yes."

"But… I don't understand. Why was it so important for you to find me first?" I just couldn't wrap my head around the idea that he'd been waiting here for hours because of _me._

"I thought you were still mad at me and I wanted to set things right between us", Gale replied. "It was all I could think about on our way back here."

"Well, I had no right to be mad in the first place", I said remorsefully. "But for the record, I am not. I was worried sick when I found out you went to the Capitol."

To my own surprise, it wasn't even hard to admit how I'd been feeling. Gale deserved to know that he was important to me too.

"I had no idea you'd be worried", he said. His gaze was intense, like that first day when he talked to me during my breakdown. "For all I knew, you still wanted nothing to do with me."

When I didn't say anything, Gale continued: "I brought you something, hoping it would make you speak to me again."

"Gale…"

Whatever it was, it felt wrong taking something from him now. I did not in the least deserve it.

He let go off me and reached into his vest. My eyes followed him curiously, almost daunting what he would pull out of it.

It was a piece of paper, folded once in the middle, a little yellowed along the edges. Gale held it out to me, and I couldn't help but take it. Damn curiosity.

I felt him studying my reaction as I opened the paper and discovered a piece of music, handwritten.

"I found it in an abandoned apartment, when we were in hiding", Gale explained before I could ask. "It fell into my hands and made me think about you."

"It's a song", I muttered, more to myself than to him. My eyes were skimming over the words which told a story about lost love, and I felt instantly connected to it.

"You know I can't read music", Gale said, "but I figured you could play it for me one day, once I find you that piano."

I stared at him, entirely at a loss of words.

This was the most beautiful thing I could've ever imagined, better than any present my parents had given me in my life. Not only did the song itself seem beautiful, but it meant so much coming from Gale.

Seeing him again safe and sound was all I'd wished for these past few days, and now I had gotten so much more. The fact that he thought about me on his mission and worried about how we left things between us, thinking he had to bring something back for me, something other than Katniss and himself – I was unable to believe that I really meant this much to him.

"Gale, you didn't need to do that", I got out eventually. "I'm just so glad you're here, and Katniss. You saved so many people today –"

"But not everyone", Gale cut me off, and I noticed a shadow falling over his face. "Not Peeta."

My eyes widened in shock.

I needed a moment to let it sink in, but when I realized that Katniss would not be reunited with Peeta after waking up tomorrow, it hit me like a slap in the face.

She would ask for him and be told that he hadn't made it back with her. I knew how much he meant to her, even though she'd never told me. She didn't have to.

Instinctively, I reached for Gale's hand, clutching the piece of sheet music with the other.

_What if I was Katniss and he was Peeta?, _I thought, and it almost made me sick to imagine Gale still in the Capitol with President Snow while I was here, safe but without him.

"We have to tell Katniss", I whispered, already dreading the idea. "She can't hear it from someone else."

"I'm going to tell her as soon as she wakes up", Gale declared, his voice raw.

"You won't have to do it alone", I assured him. "I'll come with you. But first, you need to rest. You've been up all night; you must be awfully tired."

"So do you", he replied.

I hesitated for a moment. "You should go home to your family", I said then. "They still don't know you're back, do they?"

Gale avoided my gaze. "Rory, Vick and Posy don't even know about the mission", he admitted. "I told them I had to stay with Haymitch for a couple days, for work. They are probably fast asleep now, and I wouldn't wanna disturb them…"

"You can stay here if you want", I offered before I could even think about it. "Greasy Sae's still in the hospital. She's fine", I added as he raised an eyebrow at me. "But her bed is empty, and you need one."

"I _do _need one", Gale repeated slowly. "But it's kind of against the rules, isn't it? I should probably sleep at Haymitch's, like I planned to."

"_Now _you care about the rules?", I asked, smirking at him. "I think we've broken several rules just by being here."

Gale shook his head in wonder. "Who are you and what have you done with Madge Undersee?"

"It's just for a couple hours, right? No one in there is gonna report you, Gale."

And with a deep sigh, he finally accepted my offer. "Okay, okay." Then he looked at me in this very intense way again.

"Thank you", he said firmly.

My hand was touching his cheek before I even realized what I was doing.

"I cannot tell you how glad I am that you're okay", I told him. The words just seemed to come on their own. I guess my brain had stopped working properly a long time ago.

"You know, when I couldn't find you at the hangar… Not knowing if you'd made it back alive…" I took a deep breath. "I was so afraid, Gale. If it weren't for the bombs on Twelve, this would've been the worst night of my life."

My hand was still on his cheek, and it seemed like he didn't dare moving under my touch. Then, slowly, he raised his own hand and put it on top of mine.

"Madge", Gale said gently. "If I'd known this would cause you so much trouble, I would've found a way to tell you about the mission before we left. And I would've looked for you at the hangar as soon as I got off the ship. I'm sorry things went down the way they did between us, I really am."

I shook my head. "There's _nothing _you need to be sorry for. You're here now, that's all that matters."

And it was. All that mattered was having him there, alive and well. So I finally pulled my hand away and took a step toward the door.

"We have to be very quiet, okay?", I told Gale over my shoulder.

"Yeah, of course."

Then I carefully opened the door and we both slipped inside.

It was pitch-black when we entered the room, so I instinctively grabbed Gale's hand to lead him over to my bed. I waited for him to take off his clothes first. He started with his boots and pants, then sat down on the mattress and got rid of the vest and jacket. My eyes were slowly adjusting to the darkness and I couldn't help but stare at him in his muscle shirt.

Obviously, Gale was handsome, but I had never really thought of him as attractive; probably because I'd been so busy hating him before. I guess there was a first time for everything.

I stripped down to my underwear and quickly grabbed my nightgown from the top bunk. I could feel Gale's eyes on me before I threw it on, but not in a bad way.

As I started to climb the ladder up to my bed, he suddenly took hold of my arm and pulled me back down. It was a very soft pull, but I didn't fight it. I didn't even hesitate. Without a word, I stepped off the ladder and slipped into the lower bed with him.

It felt so right, I just knew there was no need to worry. After all that had happened, I just wanted to be close to him.

We were facing each other, and he snuck his arm towards my waist to pull me closer, all the while asking me with his eyes if it was okay for him to touch me.

In response, I snuggled up close to him underneath the blanket. And for some reason, I thought back to the sheet music which I had safely placed next to the bed with my clothing.

Careful not to make too much noise, I moved my lips close to his ear and whispered very quietly: "Thank you so much for your gift. I love it."

"I love you", Gale whispered back without missing a beat.

My heart made a giant leap in my chest.

And then the words just slipped out, after the emotional rollercoaster I'd been through while I was without him.

"I love you too."

Hearing them out loud, they made perfect sense to me. I knew it was the truth.

"I've been dreaming of hearing you say that for a long time", Gale admitted.

I decided not to ask for how long exactly, and not to think about the fact that we had to get up and face Katniss with some terrible news tomorrow.

All I wanted to think about was this moment, right there, being so close to Gale that it almost made up for everything: the tears, the worry, the lost time together.

When I fell asleep, I had the most beautiful dream I'd had in a long time.

I was playing the piano, an elegant old grand piano, and I could hear the music so clearly in my mind. An enchanting melody, flowing like a river and pulsating like a heartbeat. With ups and downs like the story of someone's life.

Then I looked up from the sheet music and saw Gale right next to me. At this point I realized it had to be a dream.

But when I opened my eyes, he was still there.


End file.
